Trek failed me but not the Mountains

Having done a few treks in the western ghats of Maharashtra, I have recently started trekking in Karnataka. This was going to be my first trek of the year 2020, Kumaraparvtha aka pushpagiri, situated in puspagiri wildlife sanctuary, second highest peak in Kodagu district. In altitude, it comes in 6th place in karnataka but it is popularly known for its toughness.

<mullayanagiri (1930m),baba budanagir (1895m),kudremukha (1894m),biligiriranga hills(1800m)

Tadiandamol(1748m),kumara parvatha (1712m)>

For me, this trek was not just about views and nature, its a journey of introspection, its a journey through my doubts, its a journey of accepting myself, its a journey of not giving up, its a journey of love and beauty.

As I have done Kudremukha peak last week itself, I was aware of the climate in the region and pretty well know that it's not going to be an easy walk in the sun. But still I wanted to see how far can I go and with a will of conquering the toughest peak, I have signed up for Kumara parvatha.

We started from Kukke subramanyam. The total distance from kukke to Kp is 16km. The first halt point was at Bhatrumane , which was 6km from Kukke. The trail goes through the dense forest and it's totally an ascent , steep at places. At 8AM we started from Kukke, reached Bhatrumane by 11am. Bhatrumane is actually a house where they provide food for trekkers. (Mane in kannada means house ) Nearby there's a forest checkpost where they count the plastics.

Around 12 PM, as we started from Bhatrumane, the sun had already sucked out our energy, shining hard above our head.We filled our bottles at Bhatrumane but not sure about the water sources on the way. Now that the trail goes completely through the slopes of grassland, the entire trail was visible, hardly three trees were seen in the whole trail and it's steep ascent except at few places. There's a peak visible, initially we thought it was the peak of KP but later found it was Sesha parvatha, 3kms beyond that lies Kumara parvatha.

As we started acending the trail, I understood its going to be really difficult to overcome the scorching heat but I was fully determined to do it anyway. Everyone on the trail were pushing themselves hard to make it. Few were ahead , few were behind but this appeared like a war with myself, all alone fighting with my weakness. my legs were giving in, my mouth was becoming dry, heart beat pounding, catching for breath and I was sweating like hell. I have not covered even a kilometre by then and I had to save it for my remaining journey. i decided to take 50-100 steps, then halt for 20 seconds, then resume, this pattern helped me push myself, and every time I halted I looked back to see the beautiful grasslands and the altitude I have gained, that had given me confidence.

As the trail was going up, people started giving up , but i kept pushing myself. After a while , a trekker passed by told me that there's something called kallu mantapa and we can also find some water there. He ecouraged me to go atleast till there. The thought of water gave me a little more push. I continued with the pattern of my climb , finally reached the waterpoint, it was a very small stream but whats more refreshing than the stream was I met my team mates who were ahead of me. we sat there for a while ,had our packed lunch .

But that relief did not last for long. When they said the trail beyond this point is even more challenging, those words struck me hard but it did not stop me from resuming the trek. but my right foot started to badly, something like a tensed tendon was pulling hard. I could not even place a single step but made till kallu matapa.

Kallu mantapa, is a four pillared ancient structure, which was 3kms from Bhatrumane, so it was just 3kms that i have ascended from Bhatrumane and from here Sesha Parvatha is 4km more. At kallu mantapa, people were taking rest from the heat of the sun, few started to trek beyond, few decided to descent from there . I sat there in the partial shade, waiting for my pain to relieve so that i could atleast make till sesha parvatha. But as the time passed, considering my foot I made my mind to descend. I was little disappointed , from there I descended till a place where i can lie down at peace for sometime. I was there for an hour , my disappoinment raised as i met people who were coming down from the peak.

After a while I started from there to descend till our base camp, bhatrumane. I was slow, I did not feel like going down the hill, I had let people pass me, I was filled with thoughts and questions. I have quit my job to trek, I was thinking of the choices i had made in life, will I ever be able to overcome? should I stop chasing the dreams ? are these only dreams ? my age , my body , with knee pain, foot pain and many other pains is it really possible to climb the hills? Should I go back to work, accepting my weakness? All these thoughts and questions rolled over in my mind. I was on the slopes at the half way to Bhatrumane. I felt like stopping there. It was still sunny. I sat over a small rock and gazed at the valleys. People who had passed me were descending and going out of my sight, I was all alone now , it was hot, the dry tall grass smelled good, breeze came over wiping off the thoughts , shut my mind in silence , closed my eyes for a while, I could hear the voice, the voice of the hills even more clear now. That moment had reminded me mountains are my home. I opened my eyes to see the adorable valleys comforting me. That moment I was filled with love. my doubts and my questions were not totally answered but I have started accepting. Started accepting that being weak now doesnt mean I will be always weak, being failed in a trek doesnt mean I am a failure . One thing I clearly know is I can not stop myself coming back to mountains and hills, and I have just started my fitness journey and its a far way to go. That moment I decided I ll do my best to stay in mountains longer.

With this adorable feeling I have again started to descend, I met other team mates on the way down, we chilled there for sometime in the shade of a tree and as the sun was coming down, we went down and reached a place where we could watch the sunset. As the sun was setting, the place have become even more beautiful, the grass looked serene, the hill range appeared like a painting, horizon turned orange. That scorching sun which had hindered me to complete the trek had filled my soul with love by the end of the day . That's the beauty of the hills and mountains.

I did not reach the peak. I could not complete the trek. I have made only till half way. This trek had failed me but the mountains, they have made me feel beautiful and adorable. Mountains are my home.